Keep Breathing
by underthegreensward
Summary: Follows the storyline of 3x12 and what happened after. What if Paige isn't holding up as well as she seems to?


Paige is struggling to get the tape off of her hands. Caleb had ripped the piece of it that was over her mouth off, so she could tell him what was happening, where Emily was and that he needed to run. So he ran. Ran in the direction she pointed, leaving her sitting there, still trapped by the tape. She didn't mind, not if it meant that Emily got help, that she was not alone with Nate. No, with Lyndon.

When she finally manages to free herself, using her teeth and all her strength, she runs too. As fast as she can she runs into the forest, where she thinks Emily might be. She hears a shot. Her breath gets stuck in her throat and tears pool in her eyes. She's never been so scared in her entire life.

Whatever Alison did to her, what she did to herself, how scary coming out was, this is worse. She is scared for her life and she is scared for Emily. She doesn't know what is worse. So she just runs. Runs to where the shot came from. There isn't a reason and it might be stupid, but her legs keep moving and the tears keep flowing until she is standing in front of the light house.

The door is wide open and suddenly her legs move again and carry her up the stairs. She hears Emily crying, screaming for help, so she wills her legs to go faster and when she is at the top of the stairs, she sees her sitting on the floor, cradling Caleb with bloody hands. Nate, no, Lyndon is lying on the floor, face down, gun in hand and not moving.

"Em, are you okay? Are you hurt?" Paige is barely able to speak, she is panting and huffing too hard. Emily seemed to understand anyway. "I'm not hurt. Paige, call 911, I can't let Caleb go, he'll bleed out. Please hurry!" She doesn't have her phone, Na-Lyndon took it, so she looks around and sees Emily's phone lying on the floor. She grabs it off the floor, but it's cracked, the display completely shattered and there's no way this would work.

"I don't think this is gonna help us." Paige holds the phone in front of Emily's eyes to show her. "Look for Caleb's phone. In his pockets." Not seeing any other way, she kneels down and reaches into his pant's pockets. She sees the puddle of blood gathering beneath him and she wants to know what happened, but then she feels the phone and looks at Emily's face, the blank and absent, somehow determined gaze on it, and she calls 911.

When she hangs up the look on Emily's face hasn't changed. Paige sits down next to her and strokes Emily's hair back. "Are you sure you're fine? Can you tell me what happened?" She doesn't get an answer and she figures she'll get one when Emily is ready.

She can wait.

Her hand makes its way to Emily's thigh and just rests there as they wait for the police.

* * *

After the police arrives everything happens really fast. Suddenly they are standing on the street, too far away from each other, and Paige answers every question but she can see that Emily doesn't. Emily stares in Hanna's direction. Paige's never seen her so desperate and lost. As the cops that were asking her wander off, she distracts the one keeping Emily from Hanna. She watches as Emily takes off to hug the other girl, before she tells the cop what she knows.

They leave her alone pretty soon and when they do, she notices herself shivering. Wrapping her arms around herself, she turns to look how Emily is doing. She is still comforting Hanna, holding her close and Paige wishes she was Hanna. Just for a second she wishes Emily was holding her right now.

But she can wait. For Emily, she can wait.

Her gaze leaves Emily and meets Spencer's. It's apologetic and enough for her. She knows Spencer only wanted to protect Emily and it's good to know that someone else than herself does that. Nodding at Spencer to let her know it's okay, she hopes that this is over now.

And then she feels arms around her, Emily's arms, clinging to her like she never wants to let go. Paige doesn't want her to either. "I'm sorry, but I had to go to Hanna first. Are you alright? Did he hurt you? I'm so sorry." Emily murmurs into her hair, her face pressed close to Paige's. "It's okay. He didn't hurt me. Are you okay?" Emily pulls back just the tiniest bit to look at her and Paige's grip around Emily's waist tightens impossibly. "I think so. You sure you're okay?" Paige closes her eyes and nods. "Yeah, as okay as I can be. I think." They hold each other close, as close as they can, until Emily has to leave to go to the hospital. Paige isn't ready to let go, not now, so she just takes Emily's hand and goes with her.

* * *

She doesn't like hospitals. She never did. It didn't help that she had to go here several times. Because of broken fingers from field hockey or falling off her bike in the rain or falling drugged into a table. Emily sits with her friends, waiting for news about Caleb. Paige went outside, she can't take the silence between everyone, Hanna's worried face or the hospital. So she is sitting on a bench outside, hoping that Emily comes to her before her parents do.

But she can wait.

All of this was not something she thought was going to happen to her. She didn't think about until N- _Lyndon_ grabbed her and brought her to the lighthouse. Not once in her life did she think someone would hold a knife to her throat. And to be honest, she still doesn't understand what had just happened and why. Maybe she deserves all the things that the universe throws at her, but she is more than sure that Emily doesn't. There is just no way that Emily did something to deserve all of this.

When someone comes up behind her and touches her shoulder lightly, Paige jumps up and turns, hands curled into fists, ready to defend herself this time. "I didn't want to scare you, I'm sorry." It's Emily, looking at her with wide eyes, but she isn't able to lower her fists. It's like she froze. She can't move, she can't speak, she can't do anything. Her heart is racing a million miles per hour, but her body is not moving the tiniest bit.

Emily steps closer, the look on her face more than concerned. "Paige, are you okay?" She wants to say that she's okay, but her mouth doesn't. She wants nod, but her head doesn't. Emily is standing directly in front of her. She slowly reaches out for Paige's hands, enclosing them in her own, stroking her thumbs over Paige knuckles. "It's okay Paige. I'm here. You're here. We're alive and together. Let go."

Her hands are starting to hurt from clenching them into fists and her breathing is shallow and too fast. Emily seems so far away, she can barely hear her through the sound of blood rushing through her ears. When Emily lets go of her hands and hugs her close instead, her fists start to tremble behind Emily's back. "Let go, Paige. I have you. Let go." Emily is whispering in her ear, and finally her body moves again. She slumps into Emily's embrace with a gasp and her hands unclench only to grip at Emily's jacket. She's breathing deeply, like she's been underwater for a long time and then she starts crying. Her body is wrecked by sobs and she clings to Emily.

"Shhh, it's over, you're okay. We are okay. It's fine. He's gone." Emily says it over and over, until Paige's sobs quiet down. Somehow Emily managed to move them to the bench and sit them down onto it. Paige doesn't know when she did it or how long she has cried. Her legs are lying over Emily's lap and she's leaning against her with her whole body. Emily's face is pressed into her hair and she feels her pressing kisses into it every now and then.

"Feeling better?" Paige pulls back just enough to look at Emily. "Kind of. Thank you." Emily brings her hand to Paige's face and wipes at the tear tracks. "You don't need to thank me. You'd do the same for me." Inhaling deeply, Paige closes her eyes and moves even closer. "I've never been so scared. I've never felt so helpless. I just wanted to protect you and I couldn't. In a way, it was worse than everything Alison did to me. Because I was there and I knew what he wanted to do, but I couldn't do anything. And when he..." Her voice breaks and Emily holds her tighter. "When he held the knife to my throat... I thought it was over. I thought I was going to die. And the only thing I could think was 'Why now?'. There were so many times I wished I was dead and now, when I'm finally happy, I'm so close to actually dying and so close to making you unhappy again and I'm just so sorr-"

She doesn't get to finish, Emily doesn't let her. "Paige, stop. None of this is your fault. It's Lyndon James' fault. And mine for not questioning him and kissing him. You did _nothing_ wrong. You risked your _life_ for me. Never apologize for that."

Paige doesn't, instead she leans in and kisses Emily with everything she has. When they break apart, she lays her head on Emily's shoulder, feeling her press a kiss on her forehead.

"I'd do anything for you."

"I know. And I love you for that."

"I love you, too."

"I know."

Paige doesn't need to wait anymore.


End file.
